EXCLUSIVE: Who is in Charge here?

I read recently that love is not a feeling, it is an action that you must repeat in order to have the other feel loved.

Ramos Sport Riding Wear
Ramos Sport Riding Wear

I’m not sure I believe that, but then I turned it around, and thought about hatred. I believe hatred is an act, and those who choose to perform hate crimes, or even comments lined with hate, do so as a conscious choice and not through the expression of feeling.

Therefore if you choose to love another, you must choose this consciously, and with intent on acting out that decision, with acts of love.

With animals, kindness is vital, and anyone who can harm an animal in anyway, has nothing but emptiness inside them.

There a lot of things in our lives today that  can be passed off as emotion, when in fact it is a conscious choice that we can choose not to act on.

I am impatient, but if I am disciplined with myself, I can in fact become calm and patient, I usually just choose not to be, I am working on it…

The problem is when we let other people decide our own actions or feelings for us.

Often without even asking for it, people will give you their opinion, and that is fine as long as you can decipher the opinions that matter, from the ones that don’t.

My Mum used to say “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, but I don’t think that covers it.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!” by Debbie Warne

I believe you should ask, does the thing I am going to say have the chance of improving this person’s life, or the lives of those around them, or not?

You may tell a person their horse is completely crazy, if you know the person is putting themselves in danger.

However, if you want to tell them their horse will never be any good, when you know that for that person’s goal and intention the horse is perfect, then better just to shut up right?

In dressage, you need to have conviction in your thoughts and actions, so if you’re a person who only ever does things half well, then your horse will do a nice diagonal slide, but never a half pass.

Decide and then carry it out until the end, in life and on horseback, in disciplining your kids, or in devotion to your dog.

When you make a life decision and you can’t figure out whether you wanted it or not, then perhaps you forget to actually hear yourself, as others are very good at drowning out what’s happening inside you.

Some people earn the right to give their opinion, and others just give it anyway, but either way it is up to you to decide if that opinion fits your goal, or not.

I wrote an article about the importance of “Finding the Right Trainer”, because it is so important you find someone that you not only respect, but whose opinion and advice is given in order to fit you and your dreams.

Finding the Right Trainer” by Sarah Warne @ Eurodressage

When my trainer rides my horse, he doesn’t get on and show off to me how awesome he can make him go, he rides him him in a way that makes it easier for me to get the most out of him.

If your not a rider, then the teacher, or boss, or whoever it is that helps you, must be a person who gives you help that you need, and not the help that suits them, and you must use this help and make it count!

I say, “don’t live in halves, live in wholes, and make sure everything you do, you do it with everything you’ve got!”.

“Don’t live in halves, live in wholes, and make sure everything you do, you do it with everything you’ve got!” by Sarah Warne

If you want to steer your own horse, better make sure you are in control of both reins!



Author: Warney's Whip

Young dressage rider and Equestrian journalist, Sarah Warne (me), grew up on horseback, and quickly inherited her mother’s passion for dressage.

One thought on “EXCLUSIVE: Who is in Charge here?”

  1. Great article! You gave some Universal Truths. I like the ‘halves’ vs the ‘wholes’; this is so true. It’s like ‘lead me or get out of the way’. Also, love really is based on action toward someone or something. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments”; and therein He linked love with action. Love is a feeling, yes. But it is not real unless there is action, repeated action, over and over. Thanks for the article.


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